A Wedding Toast

In June 2011, my dear friend Kathy celebrated her wedding vows by hosting an intimate reception of her family and friends.  Even though Kathy has four sisters, I was lucky enough to be asked to give a toast.  

I was thrilled to give the toast.  I wanted to create a meaningful, lasting memory.  Especially since after the epic disaster that was the Best Man toast at my own wedding, I understood the lifelong significance the moment would hold for Kathy and her husband. 

Much to my surprise, I struggled to find  the words to capture the moment in such a way that would honor her and her husband, share the appropriate sentiment and communicate my happiness for them.  I assumed that considering the great bond between us, my love of writing and experience with speaking in front of crowds, the words would come easily.

I knew it needed to be about her.  I knew it needed not to be about me.  I knew it needed to be about him.  I knew it needed not to be about past hims.  I knew it needed to be about the two of them together.  I knew it needed not  to be about me and David.  I knew it needed to impart some worldly wisdom. I knew it needed not to be condescending.   I knew it needed to be sentimental.  I knew it needed not to be sad.  I knew it needed to be funny.  I knew it needed not to be sarcastic.  And I knew it needed to be short.

And so, I toiled away writing drafts, the majority of which were unusable.  Mostly because they were about me as in, "I remember when Kathy and I did this," or "When I got married I learned that," or "My favorite thing about Kathy is...".

Until it struck me.  

Kathy and I became friends in high school when our lockers were separated only by Chris V.  Poor, Chris V.  I’m not quite sure how he survived four years of Kathy and me talking through him to each other.  

When we became friends, one thing that I quickly learned about Kathy was her passion.  At the time when we were in high school, it was for the field of medicine and becoming a physician.  Anyone who knows Kathy knows that her passion is one of her greatest strengths.  She pursued this goal with unwavering determination and spirit and is now one of the most dedicated doctors I know.  

When Kathy told me about her first date with Soner, it was clear to me she had met someone who had that same passion.  I distinctly remember her telling me after a date one night the first time they kissed, she couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole next day.  I thought, this is a good sign!    

    

It reminded me of something someone once said  “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”.

To the bride and groom, may the love you share today be one day seen as small, compared to the love you will feel years from now. May you continue to grow in love and as individuals and may this day just be one of many that take your breath away.

And that struck them.  

Books that Shaped Our Lives

A while back, a colleague of mine asked me to submit a piece of writing about a book that shaped my life.  Here is what I wrote. 

In my life, there have been so many books.  There have been so many books that my mother would tell you she can’t remember a time I wasn’t reading a book.  There have been so many books, that my husband would tell you we don’t have room for any more.  There have been so many books that I can tell you, it is hard to say which one has most impacted my life.

There have been books that served as companions when I have felt alone in the world.  There have been books that have helped me cope when my struggles seemed greater than the strength I had to deal with them.  There have been books that have helped me grow when experience was not enough.  In each of these instances, I could tell you the one book that made a difference to me.  But to say which one made the most difference is like to ask which star in the sky is my most favorite. 

But, if you were to ask which book has been unconditionally relevant to me, I would tell you it was The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.  I have found meaning in this book over the course of my life regardless of my age or experience.  At times it has inspired me.  At times it has made me feel profoundly sad.  At times it has affirmed ideas I believed to be true and right and good.   

And so, for my daughter, I have acquired a copy of this book.   It is my hope that in its pages she will find insight and understanding and in this way come to cherish it as I do.