No, Mommy!

I have always had trouble sleeping. However, throughout the pregnancy, I have had even more. One particularly distressing night a few weeks ago, I woke up at 1:30 AM and never fell back to sleep. Early on in the pregnancy, I would cuddle with Zeldie on the couch. This would put me right to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but Zeldie's pleasant biorhythms are hypnotic to me. Whereas David's breathing sounds like a hurricane raging in my ear, Zeldie's regular soft breaths are like a gentle breeze. Whereas David's 200+ some odd body takes up half the bed, Zeldie's petite little 32 pounds tucks and curls into me like a pillow. Whereas David's twitches startle me as I fall asleep, Zeldie's regular heart beat lulls me effortlessly into unconsciousness. It used to be she would stand up, wag her tail and wait for me by the crate door. In the morning, when David would wake up to take her out, he would have to persuade her to get off the couch. However recently, she has not been so agreeable. In fact, she has seemed downright displaced. The past few sleepless nights, she has been at the back of the crate and I have had to pull her out of it. She jumps off of the couch after we lay down causing me to retrieve her so we can settle back down again together. And perhaps the most telling of all, when I wake up in the morning, she is laying on the floor, somewhere else in the room, as far away from the couch as possible. I imagine this is her way of saying, "No, mommy! I am a big girl now, too big to cuddle with you." At 14 mos. old, that strikes me as a bit sad but also inevitable. I suppose when you depend on your puppy as your Ambien, at some point she will make it clear she is an independent being and it is an inappropriate responsibility. I guess the only thing for a Mommy to do at that point is to take some Benadryl, get a Homemedics SoundSpa and buy a few more pillows.